Trading on the Brand

My church, Methodist Church of Southern Africa, is debating whether or not to accept same-sex unions. Currently the MCSA has no position except a rather vague bit about discouraging homosexual people from “practicing”. A group of us recently put together a submission to Parliament calling for a revision of the Marriage Act so that same-sex unions can enjoy the same rights as married couples. We were reprimanded for “misrepresenting the MCSA brand”, this despite the fact that we specifically said that we do not represent the MCSA. We do feel that we are Methodist and this needs to be recognised in the context of the overwhelmingly bigoted Christian response to same-sex unions that has so far been hogging the limelight. Anyway, this is Gus’ response to the reprimand…

Maybe we should change the document to read "Christian Clergy, Theologians and Christians" instead of "Methodist...” I'm not sure if I want to be too closely associated with "the MCSA brand."

Sometimes I am ashamed to tell my gay friends that I am a Christian (not that I have many, I guess its 'cos I'm a Christian). I kinda hoped that when I said I was a Methodist I/they would feel a bit better. I hoped I would be able to, as they say: "Trade on the MCSA brand." But I don't think I will.

Minister: "I'm a gay friendly Methodist!"
Gay Person: "What!? You mean some are not?"
M: "Ja man, sorry, we're still trying to figure out whether you're our target market. It's about branding you see - we're mostly aimed at LSM 1-4, we do 5 and up, but that’s just to get some cash in the coffers. (We're not so bad at getting money out of 1-4 though, but don't let them know that, liberation is also our brand... some might say the ANC at prayer.) But we have to work with our market, and 1 to 4 is mostly conservative - they don't really like gays."
G: "OK, I understand, let us know when we make the brand... we'll just hang about here at the door in case you let us in one day."

Yeah right!

If we are actually so into branding then surely it would be a good thing to expand our target market a bit? Maybe we need to keep an eye on the prophets? Profits? Prophets? Profits?

"Do you think Gogo is a good brand? She's dependable, loving, caring, wise - she's nice... she's our brand - LSM 1-4 I guess, Radio Ads will bring her in. But I don't think we can really sell her - we need beautiful, sexy, sassy, wealthy!!! Get ReBorn! You can be young hot and healthy Gogo - Oprah's coming to give you a makeover. See how those jeans make your bum look small - like a nice white girl."

Trading on the brand - my ass.

No Gogos were harmed during the writing of this nonsense.